At the MTV awards one year,
I was sitting next to Kurt Cobain in the
picnic tent, and he had his
infant with him. There was also this Harpie
with zits, overweight, lookin
like a fugitive from an antique clothing fire
sale (or a post partum victim)
white hair glaring, sitting with him. To
break the ice (and generation
gap,) I took out pictures of my daughters and
we began talking a bit.
He was cool then, a spark of common interest
lighting in his pale liquid
blue eyes.
Then Axl walked
into the tent. I knew it wasn't Meatloaf cuz of the
bandana. So ole Harpie
next to Kurt goes, kinda teasingly too loud, "Hey
Axl, comere and look at my baby."
It got a little quieter in the loud tent.
No response from the Axe.
So she goes, a
bit louder and more whiney, "Hey Axl, this baby looks just
like you." I cringed.
Kurt cringed. Necks crained. No response from the
Axeman.
"Hey Axl, this
kid has your genes." (I'm not making this up.)
Finally Kurt
goes, "Woman, please!" just as Axl approaches the table.
Axl and Kurt exchanged one liners,
probably
A:"Donít talk to
her like that."
K:
"Hey, lighten up, " or something to that effect - in truth they spoke,
like all SuperHeroes do, on
a wavelength inaudible to a mere mortal like
myself. The next thing
I heard and saw, was Axl take a step back, point
his finger at Kurt and go, "I'll
put you in the pavement, boy," and then he
was gone. Maybe Axl didn't
like not being the biggest cheese. I dunno.
So then Kurt just sorta
groans and sinks deeper into his self, and ole
Harpie smiles and gloats, "Well
that was a Real Rock Moment." That's why
I'll never ever look at or listen
to that chick or her product. Glory hound,
media wannabee, smartass a whip,
but smells like last week's milk to me.
Later that night, I bathed
in a doleful unseeing look from a
bespectacled Eric Clapton, who
had just lost his son. I also heard that
Nirvana's bassist had thrown
his bass high in the air at the end of their
tune, and been hit on the head
with it a few seconds later.
Guns and Roses' rendition
of November Rain with Elton John on 2nd
piano was made even more gothic
by the fact that Axl's entire grand piano
had to be tuned down a half
step to B because he could only play the song
in C. I was told by one
of Eltonís roadies that Slash coudn't (or wouldn't)
tell Elton the chords to the
song because, "Hey man, I don't know chords -
I only play these notes. . ."
But my guess is that he was misunderstood.
His part was probably non-chordal-tone
notes over harmonies of an
ambiguous enharmonic nature,
and he didnít want to get too intellectual
with the dude.
At the same show, someone
put a piece of black tape over the front
foot of the "R" on Elton's ROLAND
Digital piano, instantly making Elton's
internationally broadcast performance
a statement of solidarity with the
country that brought us Fredrich
Chopin, piano's finest composer of all
time, and Klbasa.
Saw Vanessa Williams up
close in the same picnic tent as the sun
was setting. Her smile
was bewitching. Would have given alot to have
seen her perfect face underneath
the clownish masque of TV makeup
someone had inflicted upon her.
Sigh.
My advice to young talent: keep a low overhead: the less
money you need per month, the longer you can hold on
to your dream. Play with your heart. But take ANY gig that
keeps you playing- you never know where a gig might lead
you, but it'll probably be closer to where you wanna be than
where you are now. (*Exception- beware of "pals" offering
you remote road gigs to get you out of town and out of
competition for gigs they want!*)
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"What am I . . . a Pariah?"
-Keith Richards to Jim Gregory, Little Steven and Nils Lofgren, in
the E Street Band's dressing
room before a Meadowlands Springsteen
show, wondering why they never
pick up a phone and call him.
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